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Struggling to Pray

By Michael W. Raley

It’s hard to admit to myself and even harder to say,

But I find myself these days

Struggling to pray.

Even during the darkest of my darkest days,

I’ve ran out of things to say.

As in the Scriptures, I want the Lord to answer my call,

But I feel as if I’m talking to a wall.

Silence, deafening silence is all I hear,

Painful day after day, depressing year after year.

Aren’t relationships supposed to be a two way street?

However, relationships are difficult if one party refuses to speak.

My spiritual eyes have grown weary,

While my spiritual outlook has grown dire and dreary

Waiting for an answer, any response from on high.

In my brokenness all I can do is groan and sigh.

Greed

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By Michael W. Raley

Greed is a cancer on the human soul,

An ever-growing tumor showing no signs of slowing down.

Greed is a demon, which has possessed humanity,

Creating an ever-widening path of destruction

Of war, corruption,  the enslavement, oppression, and murder

Of family, strangers, friends, and entire groups of people

Whose only wrong deed was being in someone’s perceived way.

And for what? More possessions? More money?

Do you think your blood money will buy you a seat in heaven?

Will your soul ever be satisfied? Will your belly ever be full?

Judas lost his soul over thirty pieces of silver,

How much will it take for you?

Wealth must be mixed with generosity for the betterment of all

And not so each one can build their own kingdom.

Just like the fool who decided to build bigger barns and rest,

So your soul may be required of you this very night.

Who then, will take care of your barns?

You may have gained the world,

But how much did it cost you?

Wash the filth off of your hands

And repent with all your heart!

 

 

Hold The Line

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By Michael W. Raley

The armies of darkness and despair have waged war in my life

For what seems an eternity.

I have paid a heavy price and suffered tremendous loss.

Yet, I remain steadfast in the midst of this battle.

“Hold the line!”

By the grace of God, I have come too far to waive the white flag.

Now is the time to regroup and to strengthen what remains,

For victory is imminent, so judgment will be executed on the darkness and despair.

As long as I have breath, I have hope.

“Hold the line!”

My spirit and my resolve are battle-hardened,

My strategy is coming together,

As I plan to launch an offensive

That will scatter the enemy and break their spirits.

“Hold the line!”

 

 

I Miss the Old Hymns

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By Michael W. Raley

I miss the old hymns

And the truth we sang

About that Old Time Religion

In the Old Country Church.

We sang about God’s Amazing Grace

And the soul cleansing Blood of the Lamb.

I miss the times In the Garden

Where our Precious Lord took our hand

And made it well with our souls.

I held onto the Rock of Ages

And found peace in the valley

Because Love lifted me.

Nothing could wash away my sins,

Nothing but the Blood of Jesus.

O how I miss the days of the old hymns.

Semblance of Peace

By Michael W. Raley

I wasted a lot of years being angry.

Triggered by the mere thought of an event

Or the mention of someone’s name.

The hurt, the pain, and the unanswered prayers

Twisting inside of me, like a thorn in my flesh.

I believe that I’m entitled to answers,

But I know the answers won’t change anything

As what is passed cannot be undone.

The only remedy for this long incubating illness

Is to go forward with today

And work on some semblance of peace.

 

God’s Unending Grace

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By Michael W. Raley

My life’s path is littered with regret,

Where I had the best of intentions,

Yet things did not work out for the best.

I look back on those days with equal amounts of frustration and lamentation.

In the midst of this darkness, I try to hold onto the Light,

Though I can’t make any of this right.

My hope and strength are gone,

Sorrowful, seemingly unable to carry on.

The failed experiences have left me feeling jarred

And left me to play a hand of worthless cards.

In my mind I am broken and defeated,

Paralyzed with indecision,

For fear that the past will be repeated.

I once again fall back into a depression.

Then my spirit comes into a revelation

That there is hope, there is salvation.

I remember that God’s grace

Is bigger than any mistake I can make.

The past, of course, can’t be erased,

But I can go forward in grace,

If you will, a heavenly clean slate

Which gives me the opportunity to get back in the race,

Without the feelings of failure, self-loathing and hate.

As long as I have breath, it’s not too late

Thanks to God’s unending grace.

 

 

 

 

The Refiner’s Fire

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By Michael W. Raley

There is a time to grieve

And that time is over for me.

It’s time to put away the hurts, the slights,

The tears, the pain, and those many restless nights.

I will no longer be beset

By my thoughts of shame and regret,

For this season is my spring, where all is made new,

Born again like the morning dew.

I have suffered long and I am tired,

However, I have survived the Refiner’s fire.

My pain, grief, and loss

Has been removed like dross,

Out of the fire and into the mold,

What comes next will be a sight to behold.

Finding Your Balance

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By Michael W. Raley

Life isn’t always fair

And there are times when equal opportunities are rare.

There are those who are born into wealth and privilege,

But since they didn’t earn it, a king’s fortune is squandered.

For those who struggle to exist, this is pure sacrilege.

There are those with obvious talent and skill who waste it,

While there are those who spent their lives wandering,

Searching in the wrong places for fulfillment and meaning.

There are those who spend their lives in a self-imposed cage,

While others seethe with self-righteous indignation and rage.

There are those who walk the well-worn path,

While others seek to blaze a trail.

There are those who will not take a risk unless they do the math,

While others will make a plan only for it to go off the rails.

Somewhere in the midst of these dichotomies

Lies the individual answers, the balance,

For which we seek, knowing that it won’t be easy.

All of us travel with burdens on our backs,

Fighting the night, the cold, and our fear of lack.

However, we must continue our journeys through the dark nights

To find the harmony within our spiritual lights.

 

The Overwhelmed Facade

 

By Michael W. Raley

I feel so overwhelmed that I don’t know where to begin.

I am doing my best to maintain the facade

While going through these difficult life transitions.

I feel so inadequate,

So not up to the challenge.

However, I know that’s not me.

Heartbreak and grief have overtaken me,

Rendering me helpless and hopeless.

I find myself fatigued and out of breath

As I try to remove the ever increasingly difficult obstacles in front of me.

If only my advocate would intervene and say, “That is enough,”

Then my heart would rejoice and my spirit would be victorious.

 

 

 

Where Were You?

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By Michael W. Raley

Where were you when I was bound in the darkness?

Where were you when the weight of depression was crushing my spirit?

I called repeatedly for your help,

Only to be once again met with silence.

You were the only one who could have put an end to it,

Yet you chose not to do so.

The pain only grew and the darkness continued to loom over me.

I wasn’t seeking gold, silver, fame or glory,

I only wanted to feel better,

I wanted to be whole again.

As I began to push my way through the darkness,

The light began to flicker and my hope began to emerge.

You may have been silent,

But you left me with the tools I needed to build a new future.