Category: Enjoying the journey

The Social Media Diet

On By Last Days DiscipleIn Being Happy, Celiac disease, Enjoying the journey, Having peace, Living a Joyful Life, Self-Improvement and personal development, Social MediaLeave a comment
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There are as many diet plans as there are people. It seems like there’s always a new trendy diet people are willing to try, whether it’s the Keto diet, the South Beach diet, the Atkins diet, or the Paleo diet, to name a few. There are also people who live a lifestyle of abstaining from certain foods, such as vegans, vegetarians, or people like me, who have to avoid gluten because of my Celiac disease. To go along with all of these diets, there’s the money spent on weight loss programs and gym memberships. Thus, the weight loss industry totals into the tens of billions of dollars annually.

Spring is here and I’m trying to work off the weight gained during another cold Midwestern winter, but I’ve started a different diet. This diet is to increase my peace of mind and my spare time: the social media diet.

I joined the world of social media back in 2010, as a way to connect to out-of-state relatives and catch up with people with whom I lost contact. However, I quickly saw the ugly side of social media. Comment about anything going on in the world and cue the vitriol in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Social media, like anything else, is not bad in of itself, it’s about how it is used.  I began to see the irony of how people took a platform meant for connection and turned  it into a means of division. There’s no room for moderation because everyone has made up his or her mind.

I was scrolling through weeks ago and asked myself, “What are you doing? What are you looking for? Do you really need to know any of this?” I thought about gradually reducing the amount of time spent on social media, but I’ve decided to stay away. I’ve deleted social media apps from my phone, which saves a lot of memory on your operating system. If I do happen to log on, I put myself on a short timer (like five minutes).

The early results are in and I have to say so far so good. I’ve dedicated more time to reading and being productive around the house. I seem to be more positive, as I am not exposed to negativity and drama first thing in the morning. The best part about it is no politics. I used to enjoy political debate, but since everything these days is a political topic, I have soured on the issue. I believe staying away now will be beneficial with the upcoming 2020 U.S. elections.

I’m not telling anyone to close your social media accounts. If scrolling through Facebook or tweeting is something you enjoy, that’s fine, it’s your life. However, for my own peace of mind, I’ve decided to forge a new lifestyle, which I am enjoying thus far.

 

 

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The Introverted Christian

On By Last Days DiscipleIn As A Man Thinketh, Being an overcomer, Being Happy, Brokenness, Christian Living, Comfort Zone, Contentment, Enjoying the journey, Finding Comfort, Having peace, Living a Joyful Life, Love, Overcoming obstacles, Peace of mind, pursuing GodLeave a comment
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I am an introvert and I am okay with it. I am by nature a shy, quiet, and reserved person until I become comfortable with a person, a group, or a social situation. I prefer a quiet Friday night at home or the solitude of a bookstore as opposed to some loud bar or club. However, the “extroverted world” has tried to make it out like there’s something wrong with me or the millions, possibly billions out there like me.

“You have to look out for the quiet ones.”

“Why are you so quiet?”

“You need to come out of your shell.”

“You don’t talk much.”

My introversion not only comes in conflict with everyday life, but also in the business and the fundamental evangelical church worlds. I have been a manager, I have preached sermons, I’ve volunteered to coach a church league basketball team, I went on a mission trip and fulfilled The Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20), but people were still standoffish and not accepting of me.

The place where I struggled the most with my introversion was the church. In my early twenties up to my mid-thirties, my now ex-wife and I attended what is known as a Charismatic church, which believes that the gifts of the New Testament (healing, speaking in tongues,casting out demons, etc.) are still in effect today. If you are unfamiliar with the Charismatic church, it’s along the lines of the Pentecostal/Assemblies of God denominations.

Worship in these “Full Gospel” type of churches can get rowdy, as people jump up and down, wave flags, run around the sanctuary, raise their hands, and so on and so forth. However, I was always very reserved in my demeanor, choosing to worship God on my own terms. I’m not a hooting and hollering person, it’s not who I am. With my old church being around 300 people, others took notice of my demeanor and I received “churchified” statements concerning my introverted nature:

“You got a spirit of fear.”

“You need to be bold.”

“Quit resisting the Spirit.”

Now that I have the advantage of looking back and perspective, I know what I should have said: “If God knew me before He created me (Jeremiah 1:5), wouldn’t He know that I was going to be this way?”Or maybe I should’ve pointed out that Jesus, Moses, David, Elijah, Daniel, and others in Scripture sought out God in solitude and in their own ways. If they didn’t follow the crowd in seeking God, why do I have to? Also, if God accepts you as you are, wouldn’t that include a quiet nature as well?

Please don’t misinterpret, I am not speaking out of bitterness or putting anyone down. I am simply sharing my struggle with who I am. I spent a lot of years worried that there was something wrong with me, like I would not be fully accepted by God or anyone else. I don’t want you to face that same struggle.

As of this post, I am forty-two, divorced, starting over with God in a much larger church, and I am coming to a place of accepting myself. I am who I am. I prefer to share my faith by embodying my faith; I seek to build relationships as opposed to threatening with hell fire. It took me a long, long, time, but I have finally accepted myself just as I am. It may be a contradiction in terms, but I am an introverted Christian. God bless you.

Book Review- Rising Strong

On By Last Days DiscipleIn Book Review, Dealing with Suffering, Enjoying the journey, Healing, Life's Detours, Living a full life, Living a Joyful Life, Love, Overcoming failure, Overcoming obstacles, Resilience, Self-Improvement and personal developmentLeave a comment
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Image from Random House Books

Shame, regret, failure, and vulnerability are words that can trigger visceral reactions and bring to the surface long suppressed emotions. However, if we are to move forward in life, we must come to terms with these issues. In her book Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Brene Brown provides a masterful roadmap on how to recover from life’s setbacks.

In Rising Strong, Brown draws from her experience as a social worker, academic researcher, wife, mother, and stories from everyday people all the way to Fortune 500 companies to weave a tapestry that reflects the simultaneous beauty and mess that is life. Rising Strong is more than a conventional self-help book, as Brown encourages her readers to dig deep and “rumble” with the issues at hand and to live through the process on a daily basis.

(If you are unfamiliar with Brene’ Brown, I would encourage you to pull up her TEDx Talks on YouTube).

All of us fall and fail in life, but Brown states the importance of vulnerability, which she defines as, “The willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome -is the only path to more love, belonging, and joy.”1 Even during the times we fall flat on our faces, the rising strong process reveals to us who we are and allows us to draw upon our inner strength.

While Brown discusses embracing the failure, she warns against downplaying the emotional effects of it: “To strip failure of its real emotional consequences is to scrub the concepts of grit and resilience of the very qualities that make them both so important- toughness, doggedness, and perseverance.”2

Early on in the book, Brown outlines the Rising Strong process, which she uses throughout the process. “The goal of the process is to rise from our falls, overcome our mistakes, and face hurt in a way that brings more wisdom and wholeheartedness into our lives.”3 The other elements of the Rising Strong process includes what Brown calls “The Reckoning,” “The Rumble,” and “The Revolution,” which involve recognizing how emotions and feelings influence our behavior, owning our stories, and writing a new ending, respectively.

If you are serious about making changes in your life and you are willing to do the dirty work, I highly recommend Rising Strong. Brown lays down the gauntlet for a life changing challenge, as I saw it in light of my own recent life events concerning my health, divorce, and starting over.

1 Brene Brown, Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. New York: Random House (2015): xvii.

2 Ibid, xxv.

3 Ibid, 37.

This Unexpected Second Chance

On By Last Days DiscipleIn Being an overcomer, Contentment, Dealing with Suffering, Divorce, Enjoying the journey, Finding Comfort, Having peace, Life's Detours, Living a Joyful Life, Meditations, Poetry, relationships, Resilience, UncategorizedLeave a comment
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By Michael W. Raley

I never thought I would’ve ended up here,

After all the hard work, sacrifice, tears,

The late nights, the prayers, and conquering the fears.

I gave you everything I had, even my youthful years.

I now find myself in middle age,

Getting ready to turn the page

On a chapter I didn’t plan to write,

Like an unexpected fog rolling in on a clear night.

However, I am learning to embrace this unexpected second chance,

Even if it was born of the most unpleasant circumstance.

My heart and spirit for a time were broken and frail,

I am now determined to clear my path and blaze a trail.

 

 

 

 

The Rising and the Wonder

On By Last Days DiscipleIn Being an overcomer, Being Happy, Brokenness, Enjoying the journey, Having peace, Living a full life, Living a Joyful Life, Love, Overcoming obstacles, Peace of mind, PoetryLeave a comment
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By Michael W. Raley

Dare I say that hope is rising in my spirit?

For the first time in a long time,

I am living with a sense of wonder-

Wonder of God, wonder of life, and the possibility of love.

I recognize the new opportunity,

However, I am slightly guarded, yet optimistic.

I never thought I would be here,

Especially after all of the hopeless and dark days.

Today is an opportunity for a reset

And I will embrace this moment.

 

The Challenge of the Change

On By Last Days DiscipleIn As A Man Thinketh, Being an overcomer, Being Happy, Contentment, Enjoying the journey, Life's Detours, Living a Joyful Life, Overcoming obstacles, Peace of mind, Poetry, Self-Improvement and personal development, UncategorizedLeave a comment

By Michael W. Raley

I took a leap of faith

And landed flat on my face.

However, I don’t have time to mourn my fate

Because I have to finish this race.

I cannot afford to remain

Mentally sick and frail,

Bound up with pain,

For I’m setting out on a new trail.

I am shutting down the negativity and the strife,

While setting forth the new rules for my life.

I must say so long

To time wasted on perceived slights and wrongs,

For I am choosing a new way

To live out the rest of my days.

Though my mind is nervous and frightened,

My spirit man is alert and heightened

With the awareness each new day brings

From the Lord, to whom I praise and sing.

Though my life has been turned upside down and rearranged,

I welcome the challenge of the change.

Possibilities and Processes

On By Last Days DiscipleIn Being Happy, Brokenness, Comfort Zone, Confidence, Enjoying the journey, Life's Detours, Living a full life, Living a Joyful Life, Love, Meditations, Overcoming failure, overcoming fear, Overcoming obstacles, Peace of mind, Poetry, Self-Improvement and personal developmentLeave a comment
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By Michael W. Raley

What if we revived dreams

We once deemed dead and gone?

What if we were to  re-open our minds

To the possibilities we so easily dismissed?

Opportunities come in so many different ways,

Through good circumstances and bad,

We often fail to recognize them.

While we have this present moment,

Let us open our hearts to love again.

Though the cities of our minds

May have been raided and destroyed

By events and people,

We can rebuild like Nehemiah and the walls of Jerusalem.

This process will have its ups and downs,

But the results will be well worth the effort.