What Has Came Before

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Photo by Jakub Novacek on Pexels.com

By Michael W. Raley

What has came before has prepared you for this.

Every triumph, every setback, heartache, failure,

And every victory are lessons learned in life’s classroom.

This is why you did all that work,

Faced your fears,

Prayed the prayers and meditated on the outcomes.

You anchored yourself during the storms

And held on with everything you had.

It all has brought you to now,

This seminal and transcendent moment in time,

Which has the potential to transform life as you know it.

This is the only life you get,

Give it everything you have and don’t hold back.

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A Little Wisdom from Dogs

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“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”

– Charles de Gaulle

I love dogs, as my wife and I refer to our dogs, Maggie, Henry, and P.J. (who passed away in 2013), as our “fur babies.” I’ve often looked at my dogs and wondered how awesome it would be if they could talk and converse with us. What would they say? “Hey, we’ve been through this-I don’t like the brown triangles in my food.” “You gonna let me out or can I just go on  the rug?” Or maybe they would vent their frustration by saying,  “That little yapping dog next door gets on my nerves.”

If I may engage in a bit of whimsy, dogs already teach us a lot without saying a word. As evolved from their wolf ancestors, dogs, even as domesticated as they are, consider themselves as part of a pack. Besides the protection that comes from being a pack or family offers a place of acceptance and unconditional love. For me, the unconditional love is what is best about having a dog.

-Dogs don’t care what you do for a living or how much money you make.

-Dogs don’t care who you voted for or get upset when there’s political disagreement.

-Dogs don’t discriminate because of your skin color, age, background, religion, orientation or anything else we use to divide each other.

-Dogs teach us not to take things so seriously- just throw the ball, tug on the rope, go take a walk.

-Dogs are grateful for life’s little pleasures-some good food, clean water, a warm bed, and good company.

-Dogs teach us to stay alert to our surroundings.

-Dogs teach us the importance of frequent naps.

-Dogs use their limited years to get the most out of this life.

Maybe, just maybe it was the dog who domesticated us and not the other way around.

The Power of Acceptance

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Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” – William James1

It is what it is,” is a popular American saying, which means “accept it because there’s nothing you can do about it.” While in the moment the expression sounds like a cop out of resignation, but within this cliché is a nugget of wisdom.
There is power in acceptance. Acceptance helps you come to terms with what happens in life, no matter if it is death of a loved one, divorce, job loss, or our own looming mortality. Acceptance allows us to grow. For example, I am perfectly fine with the man I am at forty-one and I do not grieve about not being the man I was at twenty-one. I have come to embrace who I am and what I have been through in this life. However, this does not mean that I have liked everything that has happened,but I have used these building blocks of character to form the foundation of who I am today.
Acceptance can also help bring us peace of mind and process life’s events, as my favorite philosopher, Epictetus, put it succinctly: “Don’t demand or expect that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept events as they actually happen. That way peace is possible.”2
In fact, Epictetus put down a good foundation for us to follow concerning the power of acceptance.

Manage your expectations

Circumstances do not rise to meet our expectations. Events happen as they do. People behave as they are. Embrace what you actually get.”3

Be weary of attachments

Open your eyes: Seeing things for what they really are, thereby sparing yourself the pain of false attachments and avoidable devestation. Think about what delights you- the tools on which you depend, the people whom you cherish. But remember that they have their own distinct character, which is quite a separate matter from how we happen to regard them.”4

Attitude goes a long way

When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it; you can either accept it or resent it.”5

Manage your perceptions and judgments

What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance. Stopscaring yourself with impetuous notions, with your reactive impressions of the way things are! Things and people are not what we wish them to be nor what they seem to be. They are what they are.”6

Life will never be perfect and as Epictetus pointed out, will turn out according to our expectations. One of the most important lessons I have learned is to be happy with who I am. Don’t waste your time trying to make everyone happy, because you won’t. You are the one who lives this life with your mind, your perceptions, your experiences, your genetic makeup, and the consequences of your choices.Therefore, embrace this life because it is the only life we get. God bless you.

2Epictetus, The Art of Living, A new interpretation by Sharon Lebell. San Francisco: Harper Collins (1994): 15.

3Ibid, 7.

4Ibid, 7.

5Ibid, 7.

6Ibid, 7-8.

A Place at the Table

By Michael W. Raley

If we are to live in a new Age of Enlightenment,

We must not look to dividing religions or morally insolvent governments.

Each and every woman, child, and man

Must do the work with their own hands.

Each of us must realize that we are free

To choose how to live and what we shall be.

The hurts of the past we cannot change,

Yet we allow them to eat away at us like a mange.

As long as we have today, it is not too late

To turn away from this deep-seated, barbaric, and tribal hate,

Which has hindered and encapsulated our kindred spirits,

For the time has come to do away with it.

We must hold ourselves to the highest accountability,

Question the institutional authority and use our own rationality.

Do not be afraid to question long held beliefs,

Because learning a new truth can bring you joy, peace, and relief.

Do away with the prejudices and the fables

Because everyone deserves a seat at the table.

Since Hypocrisy Abounds

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By Michael W. Raley

Since hypocrisy abounds,

Let us check to ensure

That the love we profess for others is genuine

And not lip service to a self-righteous high ground.

For I too have been numbered with the hypocrites

And it is not a pleasant truth to face:

When you demand to be right at any costs,

You have hindered true compassion and grace.

I see my ugly flaws,

As they are in plain view.

I must work on myself

Before I should give any advice to you.

Before you speak, give yourself pause

And think about what you will do and say.

Consider the cause

Search your soul and consider your ways.

Balance Out the Extremes

As a music lover, I believe that few things can stir the soul like the sound of an orchestra. All of the musicians and instruments can stand out while at the same time achieve a harmonious sound. There are no words needed to convey the emotions because they come across in the music. We must not allow ourselves to focus solely on the violins or cellos, for we will not hear the majesty of the horns or the whimsy of the woodwinds. The beauty of the orchestra is in the balance of everything coming together. I believe that in life, we too must find this harmonious balance.

I believe on important way to find our balance is to cut out the extremes in our thoughts, faith, actions, and interactions with others. As science and technology has progressed, there is something still in humans that keeps us in this territorial mindset, where we believe our group and our group alone is right. Though we are individuals, we seek community, often with like-minded people, because it makes us feel safe and comfortable. However, if we seek only people and groups who look like us, think like us, and talk like us, we will lose the chance to become part of the larger community.

When we insulate ourselves in this fundamentalist or extremist  “group thinking,” we will become ignorant and fearful of the world around us. People who don’t live like “us” are often perceived as a threat to our way of life, and a persecuted mindset takes hold. This line of thinking, unfortunately, leads only to more hate, suffering, and outright discrimination, which only sends us back as a society.

Have you ever stopped to realize that the person or group of people you distrust or fear- often based on superficial reasons such as skin color, orientation, religion, political affiliation, age, income, or anything else- simply wants the same thing you do? These people seek to live their lives in freedom, without having to face fear, bigotry, judgment, or persecution. What if we focused our time on being the best person we could be and not worry about trying to mold our neighbor into who we want them to be? What if we would be deliberate and pragmatic in solving the problems we face? What if we would shed all of these labels and see each other for who we are? That would be a start to finding the balance in the middle of the extremes.

Let’s Hold Off the Apocalypse

Let’s hold off the apocalypse for one more day.

If you’re anything like me,

There’s so much beauty left to see

And so many words left to say.

Even if someone would set a date,

More than likely the end would be late.

So why spend today’s precious moments

Worrying about tomorrow’s possible torments?

Why spend your day in fear and speculation

When you can now experience love and jubilation?

We don’t know what life holds in store,

Thus we must embrace everyone and everything that much more.

No matter what tomorrow brings,

Let us enjoy the beauty of life,

Listen to the song the free bird sings

And put aside the petty bickering and strife.

Lift up your head, Lift up your voice,

And find something for which you can rejoice.