I Cannot Say

 

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By Michael W. Raley

I’ve reached a mental block,

Wedged between a wall and a giant rock.

Nothing makes sense

As my fatigue and anxiety become more intense.

I  want to break out,

But I’m also comfortable in the house.

I’m disillusioned with former truths I held dear,

As I’ve realized they were only tools for conformity and fear.

This is not the way it was supposed to be,

Bound up because I am meant to be free.

I will be free one day,

But when that will be I cannot say.

 

 

 

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The Irrational Prison

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By Michael W. Raley

 

I feel it coming on,

That sinking feeling of dread.

I do what I can to procrastinate,

Trying to make the feeling go away.

It’s not working.

My breathing becomes faster and more intense.

I don’t want to leave my safe space.

I become fully aware in the moment

And begin to reason with myself.

It isn’t logical for me to feel this way

And I know that.

There’s nothing out there that’s going to get me,

But my heart races more and more.

Nothing has happened to make me fear leaving,

This just happens and I can’t explain it.

Just go and do what you have to do,

I say to push myself out the door.

I finally muster up the courage to leave

And accomplish an attempt at a productive life.

This is no way to live,

But it is the way I live,

Behind the bars of an irrational prison.

 

Thoughts and Prayers

It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.” – Epicurus

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Thoughts and prayers.

After every mass shooting, terrorists attack, tragedy, or natural disaster, the words “Our thoughts and prayers go out to [Insert situation]” are posted all over social media, from everyday people to world leaders. While the intentions of these people may truly be noble and sincere, has the expression “thoughts and prayers” become another cliched and knee-jerk platitude? Do we say this because we are overwhelmed by the circumstances or is this a way for us to simply feel like we did something?

I’m not discounting the need for prayer as prayer is an essential part of all of the world’s major religions. However, I believe a comforting presence or a donation of time, food, money, or even donating blood in the event of a medical emergency can do more than simply praying for a few minutes. Action must accompany belief. A former spiritual mentor of mine once said, “Nobody cares about what you know until they know you care.”

I’ll admit that I find it difficult to pray these days, because it literally feels like I’m talking to a wall. From a standpoint of reason, I find prayer to be a paradox. As Christians, we pray to an all-knowing, all-powerful God, who knows how every event in human history is going to turn out before it happens, yet allows tragedies and suffering to happen. So we are praying for God to comfort victims of a tragedy that He allowed in the first place? I’m sorry, but that does not compute.

To paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson, if I know your sect, I know your argument. Sin entered the world with Adam and Eve, God’s ways are not our ways, God has a plan for each of us, The Lord works in mysterious ways, God will use this tragedy for His own purposes/good. Were there any that I left out?

I’m just being honest and realistic, I’m not being facetious or mocking anyone’s beliefs, but our thoughts and prayers aren’t going to wish away our problems. The time has come for action, we must get to the real root of our problems and provide real solutions for them. We have to stop falling back on empty and hollow rhetoric and being swayed by every slick talking politician in a suit. We must stop holding on to old beliefs simply because our parents, grandparents,or great-grandparents believed it. We must examine what we believe spiritually and socially, in order to see whether or not we are truly helping the situation or making it worse.

The marginalized, the maligned, the shunned, and the forgotten must be brought into the fold. We cannot allow old prejudices, fear mongering, and ignorance to rule our lives, we must allow our world’s wounds to heal one person at a time. That is why with what platform I have with this blog and any other medium to advocate for those who cannot help themselves. Jesus and the apostles, the Buddha, Gandhi,  Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and countless others have went to where the people were suffering and lent a hand, not just  their thoughts and prayers. I am challenging myself and you as well. Let us not treat this world with disdain in the hopes of a life beyond, but let us seek to make this world a better place.