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Struggling to Pray

By Michael W. Raley

It’s hard to admit to myself and even harder to say,

But I find myself these days

Struggling to pray.

Even during the darkest of my darkest days,

I’ve ran out of things to say.

As in the Scriptures, I want the Lord to answer my call,

But I feel as if I’m talking to a wall.

Silence, deafening silence is all I hear,

Painful day after day, depressing year after year.

Aren’t relationships supposed to be a two way street?

However, relationships are difficult if one party refuses to speak.

My spiritual eyes have grown weary,

While my spiritual outlook has grown dire and dreary

Waiting for an answer, any response from on high.

In my brokenness all I can do is groan and sigh.

Days of Trouble and Pain

By Michael W. Raley

Our days are filled with trouble and pain.

What do we get in exchange for our sorrows?

More tears?

Anxiety?

Depression?

A tired and worn out body?

A weary soul?

Every accomplishment is met with a devastating setback.

All gifts, such as life, relationships, joy, peace of mind, and health

Are slowly taken away from us,

Whereas others never get the opportunity to experience the finer things of life.

Maybe there is no grand purpose.

Maybe our lot is simply to make the best of what we’re given,

No matter how little it is.

What good does it do to wait for an afterlife

When what we receive then could be better used for the here and now?

You may argue about original sin or that existence is suffering,

Yet, I long for a time, no matter how brief,

Where we can all find happiness in this life.

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If People were like Dogs

Photo by Julian Kirschner on Pexels.com

By Michael W. Raley

If people were loyal like dogs,

The world would be a much better place.

Spouses wouldn’t leave just because times were difficult,

Nor would friendships end over petty disagreements.

There would always be a loving, non-judgmental face

To welcome you home and say you matter to me.

If people were as loving as dogs,

A kind, listening ear would see us through the dark days;

A soft cuddle or nuzzle would help mend a broken heart,

Saving us from depression and despair.

If people saw from a dog’s perspective,

There would be no division in our world,

For we would see only people who needed love.

If people were as unselfish as dogs,

We be kind to each other

And truly understand

What it means to love

Another being greater than you could ever love yourself.

Hold The Line

ancient antique armor armour
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By Michael W. Raley

The armies of darkness and despair have waged war in my life

For what seems an eternity.

I have paid a heavy price and suffered tremendous loss.

Yet, I remain steadfast in the midst of this battle.

“Hold the line!”

By the grace of God, I have come too far to waive the white flag.

Now is the time to regroup and to strengthen what remains,

For victory is imminent, so judgment will be executed on the darkness and despair.

As long as I have breath, I have hope.

“Hold the line!”

My spirit and my resolve are battle-hardened,

My strategy is coming together,

As I plan to launch an offensive

That will scatter the enemy and break their spirits.

“Hold the line!”

 

 

Semblance of Peace

By Michael W. Raley

I wasted a lot of years being angry.

Triggered by the mere thought of an event

Or the mention of someone’s name.

The hurt, the pain, and the unanswered prayers

Twisting inside of me, like a thorn in my flesh.

I believe that I’m entitled to answers,

But I know the answers won’t change anything

As what is passed cannot be undone.

The only remedy for this long incubating illness

Is to go forward with today

And work on some semblance of peace.

 

Saturday Morning Coffee

top view photo of coffee near tablet
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By Michael W. Raley

Saturday morning coffee tastes the best

Because there are no agendas,

No deadlines to meet,

And no rush to do anything.

The cup provides a sort of  sanctuary,

Where you can be alone with your thoughts

And decompress from the week’s noise.

Saturday morning coffee reminds me

Of seasons of growth in faith and spirit.

I’ve also observed the beauty and wonder

Of nature as I enjoyed my favorite drink.

Some people search the world over for peace,

But sometimes you can find a moment’s bliss in a cup.

Survivor

 

By Michael W. Raley

Another year is coming to a close

And for a brief window of time,

The future seems hopeful and optimistic.

For a fleeting moment,

We take a deep breath

And reflect on everything that was,

Whether it was heavenly bliss or hellish torment.

These times serve as tests,

Which can make or break

Our characters and spirits.

As I look back,

One word comes to mind: Survivor.

By God’s grace, I’m still standing

After languishing in the throes

Of despair, loss, and spiritual torment.

I’m still here.

I’m still looking forward.

I’m still fighting.

I will not give up.

 

God’s Unending Grace

left hand
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By Michael W. Raley

My life’s path is littered with regret,

Where I had the best of intentions,

Yet things did not work out for the best.

I look back on those days with equal amounts of frustration and lamentation.

In the midst of this darkness, I try to hold onto the Light,

Though I can’t make any of this right.

My hope and strength are gone,

Sorrowful, seemingly unable to carry on.

The failed experiences have left me feeling jarred

And left me to play a hand of worthless cards.

In my mind I am broken and defeated,

Paralyzed with indecision,

For fear that the past will be repeated.

I once again fall back into a depression.

Then my spirit comes into a revelation

That there is hope, there is salvation.

I remember that God’s grace

Is bigger than any mistake I can make.

The past, of course, can’t be erased,

But I can go forward in grace,

If you will, a heavenly clean slate

Which gives me the opportunity to get back in the race,

Without the feelings of failure, self-loathing and hate.

As long as I have breath, it’s not too late

Thanks to God’s unending grace.

 

 

 

 

The Refiner’s Fire

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By Michael W. Raley

There is a time to grieve

And that time is over for me.

It’s time to put away the hurts, the slights,

The tears, the pain, and those many restless nights.

I will no longer be beset

By my thoughts of shame and regret,

For this season is my spring, where all is made new,

Born again like the morning dew.

I have suffered long and I am tired,

However, I have survived the Refiner’s fire.

My pain, grief, and loss

Has been removed like dross,

Out of the fire and into the mold,

What comes next will be a sight to behold.