Only Me

By Michael W. Raley

I live in community,

Yet I feel so lonely.

I can connect to people around the globe,

But I end each day alone.

I work to keep my thoughts and emotions steady;

Deep down I’m still not ready

To face the challenge of a new day.

I give myself the encouragement talk,

Only to fail following through on walking the walk.

The realization that I am truly alone

Makes my heart sink like a stone

Into an aimless sea-

No lighthouse, no flares, no ships, only me.

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Proverbs and the Connection of our Spiritual, Physical, and Mental Health

If you or someone you know suffers from inflammation, whether it’s from a type of arthritis or another chronic health condition, the pain is always an issue. I know from my experience, the pain varies from day to day. However, I do my best to keep moving and stay active.

Physical sickness can also intertwine with our mental health and our spirituality. If you deal with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health issue, chronic physical pain can exacerbate the problem. Chronic pain, whether we want to admit it or not, affects our way of thinking and how we view the world. In our pain, we may seek God and doctors for answers, but we can become spiritually discouraged when the pain continues.

I live in Indiana, where the summers are very humid to go along with the heat. In the past, my joints seemed to be affected by rainy patterns and cold fronts, but this was the first summer I noticed the inflammation being off the charts. I have sought medical advice for the inflammation, taken up a new regimen of self-care, and I have also studied a little Scripture about it.

Proverbs, an Old Testament wisdom book, gives practical and spiritual advice on many life matters, the link between our spiritual,mental, and physical health being no exception. I just want to share some of what I came across to encourage you today.

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.”                   (Proverbs 17:22, NASB).

“A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.” (Proverbs 15:13, NASB).

“The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, but as for a broken spirit who can bear it?” (Proverbs 18:14, NASB).

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.”                 (Proverbs 12:25, NASB).

“A tranquil heart is life to the body, but passion is rottenness to the bones.”          (Proverbs 14:30, NASB).

“Bright eyes gladden the heart; good news puts fat on the bones.”                           (Proverbs 15:30, NASB).

As you go through your day, I want you to be encouraged. I also want you to make sure to work on every aspect of your health- spiritual,mental, and physical. God bless.

Change is Coming

“Change is the only constant in life.” -Heraclitus

The time has come for me to make a change in my life. After seventeen-and-a-half years, it’s time to move. I don’t like moving. The only thing I dislike just as much as moving is looking for a job. My dislike of moving might be the reason I stayed here so long.  However, as I write this, the house will be on the market within the next day.

I have good memories of living in this house, but it has become a painful reminder of loss and struggle. This is the house I built with my ex-wife. I have to make a change for my mental health’s sake. Now begins the transition process. The upcoming weeks are going to be filled with looking at new places, deciding what to keep and what to get rid of, planning a new budget, you know, all the fun adulting stuff.

Believe it or not, I welcome the change. This is the start of a new adventure. I am writing a new chapter in my  life. The decision to sell was an easy one. I’ve overstayed my welcome in a bad situation, but I finally realize that I have the power to change it. I was so bound up with depression and grief that I could not see my way out of the situation.

Change is going to come in life, no doubt about it. When change comes, we have to ability to embrace it, and “go with the flow,” or we can be dragged kicking and screaming. I’m tired from the kicking and screaming. I’m ready to follow the stream to see where it goes.

 

This House

brown and white concrete house surrounded with trees
Photo by Malte Lu on Pexels.com

By Michael W. Raley

This house was once a symbol of love,

A sanctuary from the problems of the outside world.

This house was a home where faith ruled,

Where challenges were met and conquered.

Love has now been replaced by brokenness

And faith has been met with thunderous silence.

The sanctuary has become a prison,

For I am bound up with chains of failure.

This symbol of hope has become a monument to folly.

As I live alone in my thoughts,

I find myself in the throes of misery and depression,

Still trying to make sense of this new normal.

I seek to be freed from this burden of wood and concrete,

So that I may begin life anew.

The Ever Encroaching Reality

adult alone backlit black and white
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

By Michael W. Raley

Things weren’t supposed to turn out this way.

Yet, I find myself dealing with the fallout

Of my life to this point.

I am fighting for sanity and survival,

While God remains silent.

My prayers bounce off the walls and ceiling.

I face another day without help from on high.

My spirit is laid low and my mind is clouded

To the point I can’t think straight.

I am hesitant to trust my decision making process

Because a few of my choices led me to this place.

There are positives, but I must remain focused

On the ever encroaching reality of today.

 

The Two-Headed Dragon

bryan-fogaca-rosado-two-headed-dragon-web

https://www.unsealed.org/2018/06/in-moment.html

By Michael W. Raley

I am a modern day knight on a quest

To eradicate this two-headed dragon of depression and anxiety.

This dragon at times seems formidable,

As I have been unable to vanquish it completely.

My armor and my mind have been pierced;

I feel exposed every time I go out to battle.

When my heart sinks before the dawn,

I know that day’s battle has been lost.

However, I will rise again tomorrow,

Armor on, sword by my side, and shield in my hand,

Determined to slay this beast.

The Wave of Depression

ocean wave
Photo by Simon Clayton on Pexels.com

By Michael W. Raley

The wave of depression overwhelms me,

Casting me down to the ground.

I know today’s not going to be my day.

I’ll put on the brave face

And go through the day

Like an ox plowing a field,

Except I won’t break any new ground.

This wave is not an everyday occurrence,

But it has tendency to stick around

Longer than it needs to stay.

I know deep down that I choose my response,

Yet, snapping out of it is not easy.

As I live my life day to day,

I learn the lessons of defeat

Along side the sweet savor of the victories.

The wave may be at high tide today,

But even the strongest forces of nature subside in time.